The quest for answers and my uncle's soul

I should preface this post by saying when I began my search for the reasonable answers I was a young earth creationist. Part of why I believed this was because the Bible said so. By tracing the lineage of the age of the lives recorded in the Bible you could estimate the earths age at over 6,000 years. With that knowledge I filtered the information I learned about geology, biology and evolution through that lens.
Some might say I was naive, but I was quite knowledgeable about the theories Christian scientists presented to support the young earth claim. Such as reptiles growing for the entirety of their lives. If people lived to 600 years old, it makes sense that lizards could grow to dinosaur sizes with that kind of life span. I was aware that DNA breaks down over time and of these discoveries of soft tissue in dinosaur bones which, to me, proved they were younger than 10,000 years (the theory at the time for how long it takes dna to break down but i cant find a reference for at the moment.) I looked at examples of the rapid developement of layers in the earth's surface as examples of how they could be formed on the timeline I believed to be true. I considered the Bible to be absolutely historical fact, inspired by God, the Word of God, perfect, and that evolution was only brought about as an alternative to the creation story.
I remember watching a documentary where a scientist said he loved digging up fossils and seeing how the evidence supported his theories. I thought to myself that it's the same process for Christian scientists, just a different theory, and that it was logical that secular scientists would look for the evidence to refute God's creation and highlight it.
I started my search to give my uncle logical understanding for faith by listening to debates about creationism vs. evolution on youtube. I know men much more intelligent than myself who believe the creation story so i needed to take the time to study and gather the information they had to offer as proof for its validity. There are a lot of videos though and they range from absurd to thought provoking, the most recent of which that I listened to was Bill Nye vs. Ken Ham.
These type of talks brought me down rabbit holes so deep Cpt. Nemo would envy me, but they pointed out some very serious flaws with my theory. How did Noah fit all those animals on the ark? Ken Ham talked a lot about "kinds", a word I cant find a solid definition for anywhere as far as taxonomy is concerned and is pretty vague on creationist websites, but thats not what I believed. All he was saying was that evolution was true, just on a much shorter time scale. I refuted any evidence of "microevolution" because I knew it was just evolution on a shorter time scale. It's important to add that with a "God" variable, there are an infinite number of possibilities. (I have a book at home about geocentric theory published by a Christian group.) So maybe God didn't stop creating. Maybe coyotes "evolved" more teeth through breeding with wild dogs.
I also was quick to point out that examples of evolution like the peppered moth only showed animals switching to a trait which they already had. They were black sometimes at the start, why should we be surprised when we still have a black moth at the end? It's not like it developed a turbine engine on its tail or a telepathy sensor or even a third antenna.
I also listened to talks surrounding theology, philosophy, and atheism to be able to approach my uncle in a well rounded way with understanding of where he was coming from. In the end I knew it would be God who turned things around for him though.
Sometimes these talks were infuriating. Most atheists doing any sort of interaction with christians were borderline rude, and to be fair a lot of christians they spoke with believed on the word of the Bible alone or because of the words of others which were blatantly untrue, which even aggravated me. If the Bible is truth it should match up undeniably with reality no matter how far fetched it may seem.
A little more than a year ago, i watched a show called the Athiest Experience. The host mentioned a website of outdated or false creation arguments. They were specifically talking about moon dust on the show if I remember correctly.
I had personally used many of the arguments on this site as they had been taught to me. Seeing them now on a "not to use" list was.... dissapointing and confusing. It meant that I had unknowingly lied to others in support of my beliefs which didnt sit well with me at all. Did anything I knew about creationism apply at all any longer?
Even more troublesome to me was that the christian theories had changed many times even in the last decade. My mom once told me one of the things that made the Bible so special was it's relevance and timelessness,  but this was not timeless. The christian theories evolved as quickly as science was making discoveries because it had to. For every new evidence against creationism, there must be an answer. Even recently at the discovery of gravity waves predicted by the big bang theory, the next day I read an article saying scripture predicted it first.
The more I studied the more problems I encountered and that lead to an ever changing stance as to how existence came to be through creation, but I didnt like it.
I felt like a child trying to explain a crime scene formed of liquid paint to a police officer, but I was both the child and the officer. Everything I believed seemed fuzzy and formless and my faith was at war with my mind.
Its hard to explain how difficult it was for me. I hadnt told anyone, not even my wife, that I was studying all these facets of the creation story with the intent to reinvigorate the faith of my lost uncle and I felt like I couldnt share it because I would never want to shake anyone elses faith. That was the complete opposite of my intended goal. All I had at this point was that my most of what I thought I knew was false, and there were no good answers to my questions.
My faith held but was what I believed evident beyond the pages of the Bible?
Then came evolutionary biology...

In the beginning

To say I grew up in a Christian home is putting it quite mildly. My dad was a preacher for a large portion of my life. He would help churches grow and then we would move to another place that needed his spiritua]l guidance. I remember him being very well liked. His sermons always got laughs along wigh teaching a lesson.
My mom usually directed the music at the churches my dad pastored and worked other jobs during the week. She still loves music and leads at a church to this day.
I can probably count the number of times I missed sunday school before I was a teenager without taking off my shoes.
I had many "mountain top" experiences, or spiritual highpoints, in my teenage years going to Christian youth conferences and mission trips. I truly believed durring that and acted accordingly.
After high school I became more interested in girls than religion, but I never lost faith. I went to a Christian college and regularly played in worship bands all through those years. Eventually I stopped going to church all together, I got married, and I lived a life as someone who believed that Jesus was the savior of my soul, and everyone knew I believed it, but I rarely went out of my way to share that in a meaningful way with others.
Eventually I was divorced and I truly regained my faith. It didnt happen immediately,  but over time. I got remarried, had kids and attended church regularly. I even got back into playing with the worship band.
This was the time period of my life where I belived the most of my own volition.  No one forced me to be there, I wanted to be at church. I activly participated in the functions and was more forward about my faith to others.
Then I went to a family reunion about a year and a half ago.
With few exceptions my family are geniune Christians. They go on mjssion trips and share their faith readily with others. Beyond that, they go out of their way to help others less fortunate. So, as you can imagine, there is a lot of prayer and talks about faith durring these retreats.
One family in particular was conspicuously missing from the retreat. I learned one evening around a camp fire that the reason that family was missing was because my uncle had decided he was athiest.
My heart sank for him and his family. I wondered why he would do that? Why would he put his family through that? How would it affect the faith of his kids? He had searched for some time to be a minister. He even took jobs at churches in the hopes of making it onto their leadership team. This was quite a shock to me. We prayed for that family that night.
I thought at the time that he must be mad at God because life wasnt going how he thought it should, or that someone was misleading him. I felt genuine concern for the spiritual well being of his family and I felt I needed to do something. I was even a little mad at him for being so foolishly cavalier with the eternal consequences to his family.
When I returned home I saw a post on my newly outed athiest uncle's facebook talking about his new unfaith. I was upset by it, it just seemed so wrong to flip from belief to non-belief. I responded to his post, and a few more with open ended discussions about why he would make such a big change, but honestly, I wasnt really listening to his side. I was only arguing against it. I was applauded by others for standing up for my beliefs, and hoped, along with others in my family, that my uncle would realize his mistake and come back around. I feared for the souls of his family.
I decided I would track down the "proof" my uncle needed to bring him back to faith. I would search for the bread crumbs that must exist in this world that God created. I specifically prayed at the time,
"God, never let my logic overide my faith."
Then I started down a path that would change my outlook. On everything.

Body of Sin

The Utopia show is my new guilty pleasure. I hate that the show is set up for maximum unresolveable conflict, but something Hex said the other day truly struck me though. She asked when did her body become so sinful.
In the context people were offended at the nudity of the females on the show.
This caused me to really consider my views on the whole situation. For some context of myself, my wife had our baby a few months ago and is breastfeeding. Before then I was uncomfortable with the idea of women in public with bare breasts. Why? I couldnt say exactly at the time and over time I have become accustomed to not only the idea but of seeing it constantly from her or any mother.
So why should it be a problem to be completely nude? And why was I uncomfortable before?
I think ive figured it out. It all comes back to ego and sex.
As a lover of art ive seen thousands of nude forms in paint and sculpture and never did I feel uncomfortable with them. Obviously its not the form that creates that awkward feeling, it's the flesh.
I think the real problem is that I think its safe to say that for most of the time when a nude form is viewed, whether in life or on a screen, it's for sexual pleasure. So when someone sees a nude form thier thoughts go to sex with them, and thats what becomes uncomfortable.
I honestly think its unfair to ask a person to cover up when their form isnt violating you, its your own thoughts violating you. Even worse is when those thoughts spill out and violate others.
I applaud women who are comfotable enough to be nude whether alone or in any other setting because its refreshing to see that women can still be confident in the skin they've been blessed with. Not for any sort of sexual gratification, but because I truly believe the form is beautiful.

The Future Digital World

I sincerely hope that in the near future they combine oculus rift with Emotiv to create a digital world we can create and control with our thoughts. I think this might be a way for each of us to create our own utopia to live in.
I came to this line of thinking because I was watching Utopia on Fox and as much as I want that silly bunch of 'pioneers' to succeed,  I dont think it can truly happen, because as ridiculous as some of those characters are, people who think just like them are everywhere.  And because of those few idiots its impossible to always meet in the middle.
Im not so dissallusioned as to think we could create a perfect world, take a moment and imagine something which is not too far fetched.
Youre in your home and you sit back in your most comfortable chair and put on a vr helmet.
You start in your digital 'home'. Think of it like the desktop of your pc or main menu of your xbox. This is a private space designed by you for you. You have as many rooms as you want to serve whatever needs you have. You have an office, a game room, an art studio and maybe a theatre and each can be anything you imagine. Outside of your front door is the public/social space. The people who live in your 'neighboorhood' are compatible with you. If youre strictly religious, your neighborhood would be made up of people with the same ideals. If you're all about embracing diversity, your neighborhood would be larger. Beyond that you have areas where everyone mingles.
If you like your space your digital rooms in your home can contain worlds built for you by you, or maybe even load someone elses world for the purposes of just enjoying the creative beauty.
Want to visit a femple in India? Teleport there to marvel at its structure. Want to see your favorite band in concert? Just go to your playlist. Want to take a flight through a nebula at lightspeed? Just think and its happening. Want to be entertained? Play a movie and watch like a fly on the wall, or on a giant screen in a theatre, or even be the main character as it plays!
I know that some people will say thats its all just fiction and it would lose the feeling of the real thing, but not everyone has the chance to do these things in real life.
I love the idea of creating a digital social space where anything could happen, like a worldwide digital burning man event. I truly hope one day ill be roaming a digital landscape filled with digital creatures designed by me eating dinosaurs out of a nerds box on a floating mountain of stars while I fly by. Until that becomes a reality, I guess ill just have to stick to my day dreaming ;-)