I have only told two people about my recent transition in faith. My wife and later a coworker who is atheist. My coworker was quite surprised when I told him what I had been through because he knew I went to church faithfully and even though he knew me during the entire process, he didn't know it was happening. It was easy to open up to him because we interact every day and I already knew he was on the same page.
I haven't told my other coworkers, let alone the members of my church where I went. I'm most apprehensive about telling my family though.
I know my family will love me no matter what, but they will still think of me differently once they know.
I already saw how they reacted to my uncle's coming out as atheist and I have a cousin who is gay and probably feels the same in many aspects. They wont ostracize me and I don't foresee being cut out of any wills, but they will be genuinely concerned for my soul.
They will look for opportunities to minister to me and they will probably see misfortunes that fall on me as God trying to get my attention. I fully understand these feelings because I have felt them for others. I don't even feel like its wrong for them. I don't like the idea of putting undue stress on them though. Especially my parents.
The Bible says:
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
I wonder everyday if what i am doing will benefit my children far in the future, and i hope i am, but i also view their shortcomings as my own. My parents were excellent examples of the essence of Christ in my life. I know that when they read these words they will wonder where things went wrong. I hate the idea that they might take these things quite hard as parents. They may even blame my uncle as if he had an influence on my studies even though I learned all this in an attempt to reclaim him for Christ.
Even though I see no reason to believe in things beyond this life, I know my parents minds will not change, and I have no desire at all to try to change them. But they will have heartfelt concern for my spiritual well being as well as that of my family.
My parents have always been adamant that I should study scripture and learn it for my own edification so my faith was my own. How will they feel when they learn that the very book I based much of my life on has lead me to disbelief when I studied it with more discerning eyes?
The rest of my family will feel a similar concern at this news. I'm honestly glad I have a family so concerned with my well being on every level. I consider myself exceptionally lucky in that respect. But my 'coming out' will result in reservations on their part as well.
I have cousins in a very wide age group. Will any future family event include a warning about me being 'out there' and to take what I say with a grain of salt. Or maybe they wouldn't want me to be around their children in a format which would have been fine before this transition.
I'm not out to convert anyone or lead them away from faith but still our differences could lead to unseen rifts, which is unfortunate to say the least.
Of course, in the end this is all conjecture because I haven't told them yet.
Along the way I even wondered at one point if they already knew all this and kept up appearances for the sake of their children, but I don't think they could keep up a lie for so long. And for that exact reason, I know I cant keep this a secret forever either. At some point, they will know.
I haven't told my other coworkers, let alone the members of my church where I went. I'm most apprehensive about telling my family though.
I know my family will love me no matter what, but they will still think of me differently once they know.
I already saw how they reacted to my uncle's coming out as atheist and I have a cousin who is gay and probably feels the same in many aspects. They wont ostracize me and I don't foresee being cut out of any wills, but they will be genuinely concerned for my soul.
They will look for opportunities to minister to me and they will probably see misfortunes that fall on me as God trying to get my attention. I fully understand these feelings because I have felt them for others. I don't even feel like its wrong for them. I don't like the idea of putting undue stress on them though. Especially my parents.
The Bible says:
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
I wonder everyday if what i am doing will benefit my children far in the future, and i hope i am, but i also view their shortcomings as my own. My parents were excellent examples of the essence of Christ in my life. I know that when they read these words they will wonder where things went wrong. I hate the idea that they might take these things quite hard as parents. They may even blame my uncle as if he had an influence on my studies even though I learned all this in an attempt to reclaim him for Christ.
Even though I see no reason to believe in things beyond this life, I know my parents minds will not change, and I have no desire at all to try to change them. But they will have heartfelt concern for my spiritual well being as well as that of my family.
My parents have always been adamant that I should study scripture and learn it for my own edification so my faith was my own. How will they feel when they learn that the very book I based much of my life on has lead me to disbelief when I studied it with more discerning eyes?
The rest of my family will feel a similar concern at this news. I'm honestly glad I have a family so concerned with my well being on every level. I consider myself exceptionally lucky in that respect. But my 'coming out' will result in reservations on their part as well.
I have cousins in a very wide age group. Will any future family event include a warning about me being 'out there' and to take what I say with a grain of salt. Or maybe they wouldn't want me to be around their children in a format which would have been fine before this transition.
I'm not out to convert anyone or lead them away from faith but still our differences could lead to unseen rifts, which is unfortunate to say the least.
Of course, in the end this is all conjecture because I haven't told them yet.
Along the way I even wondered at one point if they already knew all this and kept up appearances for the sake of their children, but I don't think they could keep up a lie for so long. And for that exact reason, I know I cant keep this a secret forever either. At some point, they will know.
No comments:
Post a Comment