I think that probably one big question I will hear is where is the hope in not believing the Bible and the salvation through Jesus.
I honestly did take a lot of comfort in the idea of eternal life before my transition beyond Christianity. Forever is quite a long time and I truly think I would enjoy living that long.
I would be able to compose all the music I could literally ever imagine. I could paint murals which stretched for miles. (As someone who enjoys writing, i wonder if you could write stories with antagonists in heaven?) I could get a really great tan basking in the glorious starlight of newly formed stars at the pillars of creation.
Unfortunately just because it is a wonderful idea does not make it true. I can imagine a world where there's no gravity and clouds are made of cotton candy so nutritious it's all anyone ever needed to eat and no one ever has to work, ever. There aren't any ancient texts claiming that will happen but it's no more probable it will come to pass than an afterlife.
There's not much hope for anything beyond this life for me. I am quite a lucky product of a long line of miraculous events, but so is everyone who has ever lived.
I am no more special than the next person except for to myself and my family. Another statement which is generally true for all humans.
I am a consciousness higher than any other animal, able to ponder the cosmos.
So I have a lot to look forward to in this life.
Watching my children grow, seeing the rise of a digital world where everyone can own or explore anything, buying my dream car, spending countless evenings with my wife.... the list goes on and on.
There's a lot of hope for things to come while I live.
I cannot trust in the idea that I will have eternity, so I will have to try my best to have a good time while maintaining my responsibilities.
Honestly though, the idea that we are simply a meat robots doomed to base desires has crossed my mind more than once. Usually followed by the question of do I really control myself?
The very fact I'm pondering that question means I must to some degree. At the very least, I'm analyzing past events which would affect reactions in the future.
In some instances I am kind of in control. I get hungry and I have to eat. I have gone more than a day without food when it was readily available, but eventually, I will eat in order to survive. I get thirsty, I have to breath, there's a lot of needs I must meet in order to continue to exist as a conscious being. I can choose to abstain from anyone for short periods of time though.
I think the craziest part in all this though is imagining what it will be like after I die.
I spent a lot of my life preparing spiritually for eternity. Most people also plan for the eventuality of their death through wills, life insurance, savings and I'm sure a lot of other things as well. But will it matter?
I'm sure when I die it will matter to those I leave behind, but me, I'll be gone. My consciousness will have "left the building" so to speak. I truly cant imagine death though.
My blackest black and quietest quiet conjured up in my imagination just don't cut it. I'm still perceiving the real world around me. It will just be over, like an unending dreamless sleep.
I think I will mostly be sad it is the end before it comes, but I will think about the good things in my life like the way my daughter's cheeks fill up like tiny balloons when she smiles, the way my son laughs deviously when we play, or the day I got married.
But then, when all is said and done. I will be gone, no longer troubled with anything here, but also unable to experience the good.
In the mean time, I'll have to do my best to make the most good experiences for myself and others that I can and that is where the hope lies. That I still have time to enjoy this life a little more.
I honestly did take a lot of comfort in the idea of eternal life before my transition beyond Christianity. Forever is quite a long time and I truly think I would enjoy living that long.
I would be able to compose all the music I could literally ever imagine. I could paint murals which stretched for miles. (As someone who enjoys writing, i wonder if you could write stories with antagonists in heaven?) I could get a really great tan basking in the glorious starlight of newly formed stars at the pillars of creation.
Unfortunately just because it is a wonderful idea does not make it true. I can imagine a world where there's no gravity and clouds are made of cotton candy so nutritious it's all anyone ever needed to eat and no one ever has to work, ever. There aren't any ancient texts claiming that will happen but it's no more probable it will come to pass than an afterlife.
There's not much hope for anything beyond this life for me. I am quite a lucky product of a long line of miraculous events, but so is everyone who has ever lived.
I am no more special than the next person except for to myself and my family. Another statement which is generally true for all humans.
I am a consciousness higher than any other animal, able to ponder the cosmos.
So I have a lot to look forward to in this life.
Watching my children grow, seeing the rise of a digital world where everyone can own or explore anything, buying my dream car, spending countless evenings with my wife.... the list goes on and on.
There's a lot of hope for things to come while I live.
I cannot trust in the idea that I will have eternity, so I will have to try my best to have a good time while maintaining my responsibilities.
Honestly though, the idea that we are simply a meat robots doomed to base desires has crossed my mind more than once. Usually followed by the question of do I really control myself?
The very fact I'm pondering that question means I must to some degree. At the very least, I'm analyzing past events which would affect reactions in the future.
In some instances I am kind of in control. I get hungry and I have to eat. I have gone more than a day without food when it was readily available, but eventually, I will eat in order to survive. I get thirsty, I have to breath, there's a lot of needs I must meet in order to continue to exist as a conscious being. I can choose to abstain from anyone for short periods of time though.
I think the craziest part in all this though is imagining what it will be like after I die.
I spent a lot of my life preparing spiritually for eternity. Most people also plan for the eventuality of their death through wills, life insurance, savings and I'm sure a lot of other things as well. But will it matter?
I'm sure when I die it will matter to those I leave behind, but me, I'll be gone. My consciousness will have "left the building" so to speak. I truly cant imagine death though.
My blackest black and quietest quiet conjured up in my imagination just don't cut it. I'm still perceiving the real world around me. It will just be over, like an unending dreamless sleep.
I think I will mostly be sad it is the end before it comes, but I will think about the good things in my life like the way my daughter's cheeks fill up like tiny balloons when she smiles, the way my son laughs deviously when we play, or the day I got married.
But then, when all is said and done. I will be gone, no longer troubled with anything here, but also unable to experience the good.
In the mean time, I'll have to do my best to make the most good experiences for myself and others that I can and that is where the hope lies. That I still have time to enjoy this life a little more.
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